


Relief

by thaliastxrk



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Eating Disorders, M/M, Peter Needs a Hug, Recovery, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Is A Sweetheart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:34:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21708298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thaliastxrk/pseuds/thaliastxrk
Summary: This a commission fic!Peter felt like everything in his life was spiraling out of control but, two things kept him grounded.Note: I do not give consent for this work, or any other of my works, to be posted on another site other than this one.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Tony Stark
Comments: 2
Kudos: 89





	Relief

**Author's Note:**

> hi hi hi
> 
> this is my first ever commission piece, and i hope i did a good job.  
> i drew on personal things to help. 
> 
> this does contain a heavy subject matter relating to eating disorders, so please just close this page if you aren't gonna be able to handle that.  
> also, if this is something you're struggling with then please reach out, i'm always around, there will be someone who will listen to you.

They had done it. Tony had done it. He'd defeated Thanos, brought everyone back, and somehow managed to hold on long enough to get medical attention and continue breathing. Peter never left his side. Holding his hand while he laid in a hospital bed, thumb rubbing over the back of his hand, and talking quietly; waiting for him to wake and respond to him. He barely moved from the chair, only when he was coaxed to eat or get some rest. He didn't want Tony to wake up alone, he didn't want him to deal with this by himself. Peter's main focus was Tony. Neglecting himself in the process and suppressing the crippling anxiety, ignore the nightmares and stop the shakes and jumpiness every time there was a sudden loud noise. 

He felt like he was out of control, unable to keep up with anything and slowly losing his mind. Everything was spiraling, having to repeat midterms, now having new responsibilities as a part of the avengers, and needing to make sure that Tony recovered well. Then, he found control in a place he never thought he would. It started innocently. Tony was finally up and out of bed almost a month later, and due to Peter spending so much time in a chair, he saw the softness start to form where it used to be hard muscle. This lead to him beginning to count calories and monitor what he put into his body, and going back to working out regularly in between helping Tony get back on his feet. 

He woke to a small tug on his hands, opening his eyes to find Tony looking at him as he sat himself up in the hospital bed. Peter instantly jumped up to help him, sighing sympathetically when Tony’s face twisted up in pain as he settled back against the pillows.

‘’You’re here,’’ Tony said, voice rough and gravely due to being under for almost a month.

‘’Of course I’m here,’’ Peter replied, sitting down beside him, hand firmly holding Tony’s, petrified that if he let go that maybe Tony would fade away.

‘’Least I lived,’’ Tony chuckled, coughing and groaning at the pain in his chest. ‘’Guess I’m not getting out of that date.’’

‘’Oh, hell no,’’ Peter laughed, tears forming in his eyes. ‘’I would’ve brought you back from the dead. You made a promise.’’

‘’Come here.’’ Tony let go of Peter’s hand to wave it; mentioning for Peter to lay down next to him. Peter didn’t want to end up accidentally hurting him, so he tried to make an excuse, but Tony began to tug at his shirt and Peter let himself be pulled down snug against Tony’s side, leg carefully thrown over his, and head resting on his chest; home.

A couple of weeks later and Tony was up and out of bed, walking around and Peter was constantly by his side, so much to the point that he didn't notice when he began to miss meals, or when he began falling behind at school due to spending so much time at the compound, helping Tony and not wanting him to be alone. He didn’t mean to be missing out on studying but, he developed a lost interest in school. He didn't really think about it, he was just busy, everyone misses a meal here and there is what he repeated to himself every time he realized. Everything went downhill from there, and he ended up living on a slice of toast in the morning, a small meal after school and knocking back can after can of energy drinks to keep him alert and present when he needed to be and give him that boost to get through the day. 

He always made a point to save that small meal for later on in the day so when he was asked to join for a movie night, or a team dinner, he didn’t need to make an excuse or bring any suspicion. It didn’t last for long though, as his meals got smaller to the point of just taking bites of things throughout the day, and he couldn’t lie his way through an entire meal time with people around him, that’s when the excuses really began.

''You sitting with us, Pete? We ordered in,'' Steve said, pulling containers from the plastic bag and placing it on the table, everyone else grabbing plates and plating up their food.''

''I haven't worked out today, and I had a really big lunch. Save me some, I'll get something after,'' Peter replied, and didn't wait to hear anyone's responses as he continued through the compound, and down to the gym where he locked himself away for two hours; earphones blasting music and ignoring the world.

Later that same night, more food was ordered and Peter was coaxed by Tony to sit, eat and watch a movie with everyone. He made Peter feel guilty, unintentionally, Peter knew he was just trying his best to open more, by telling Peter that he’d missed him and felt like he barely saw him anymore. Peter wrapped his arms around Tony’s shoulders, up on his tiptoes and hiding his face in the crook of his neck, promising that he’d be around more and whispering how sorry he was; he never meant to neglect Tony. Peter ended up sat beside Tony as he kept urging Peter to grab a plate and get something decent in his stomach. Weirdly, Peter felt hungry for the first time in a long while, plating up a decent portion and settling back against the couch, leg bumping against Tony’s and exchanging small smiles while he ate. He didn’t realize how quickly he was shoveling the food into his mouth until someone spoke up.

''Damn, Pete, you hungry?'' Bucky laughed, taking a bite off his own plate. 

Peter looked up at Bucky before looking back down at his plate, seeing that he had nearly finished the entire portion while nearly everyone else had a full plate. Maybe he just had a smaller portion than everyone else. Peter sniffled and slowly chewed the mouthful he had, feeling a horrible sick feeling forming in his throat. 

''Excuse me,'' Peter said, putting the plate on the table in front of him and rushing towards his bedroom, flying into the bathroom and ending up knelt down and hands gripping the toilet seat as he emptied the contents of his stomach; tears slipped down his face and his stomach twisted and contracted painfully. Peter flushed the toilet, grabbing some tissue to wipe at his mouth as he sat back, leaning against the bathtub and wiped the fallen tears from his cheeks. 

Everything after that night slowly began to get worse. Every time Peter stepped onto the scale, despite the decreasing numbers, he was adamant that he wasn’t losing it fast enough. This led to him fasting for 30 hours every three days, and then he would grab whatever food he could and spend hours bingeing the food until he physically couldn’t take another bite, and quickly after that his fingers were down his throat and his stomach was hurting so bad from emptying itself out. Then, insomnia kicked in, lying awake for hours on end and ending up running on two hours of sleep a day. He was losing motivation, school and Avengers meeting went by in a blur, unable to retain any information. He would zone out, and some days couldn’t even get out of bed for most of the day; only leaving for two hours at a time to work out with shaky limbs and sick feeling in his stomach. He began to make excuses to get out of team-building activities, not wanting to be around anyone for fear of being judged; in fear of being found out. 

Peter groggily stepped into the kitchen, wanting to grab a glass of water before showering and heading down to the gym but, he found Tony stood at one of the counters, pouring coffee into two mugs. Peter walked up slowly, letting out a soft ‘hey,’’ as he rubbed a hand over Tony’s back, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek.

‘’Hey there,’’ Tony replied, smiling wide and offering a cup out to Peter. Peter smiled and took the cup, and before he could raise it to his lips, Tony leaned down and pressed a soft, small kiss to his lips. ‘’Now that I’m all healed, why don’t we finally go for that date?’’

‘’I’d love that,’’ Peter replied, smile beaming.

‘’Name the place. I’ll take you anywhere.’’

‘’We could go to the movies,’’ Peter suggested, moving to sit down at the table. Tony sat down across from him, hand reaching out for Peter’s as his face showed amusement. 

‘’No, not the movies. I wanna take you out for a real date,’’ Tony said, smirking a little. ‘’Like, a nice restaurant.’’

‘’A night in just cuddling in silence would be a real date to me. I just wanna be with you.’’

‘’I’ll take care of it.’’ Tony winked and got up from the table, leaving Peter with a kiss on the forehead.

That led to Peter dressed up in an overly expensive suit that Tony had left on his bed, sat across from a grinning Tony who flipped through his menu in a rented-out restaurant with soft, calming music playing and not another person in sight.

‘’Burger King wasn’t good enough for you?’’ Peter asked, snorting back a laugh as Tony looked appalled at Peter’s question, tutting and dropping the menu to the table as Peter picked up his wine glass, taking a small sip.

‘’As much as I love a good cheeseburger,’’ Tony started. ‘’I think you deserve all the cliche dinner date theatrics. You deserve the best, and I’m sure as hell gonna give to you.’’

‘’You’re so good to me,’’ Peter cut in.

‘’No, Pete. I’m just doing my best to show you how much I care about you. How much I appreciate you being there for me, never leaving my side… Even when you’re told to leave it,’’ Tony chuckled, earning a teary laugh from Peter. ‘’You’re the most breathtakingly wonderful person I have ever met, and I’m going to spend the rest of my life making sure I make you as happy as you make me.’’

‘’Fuck, I didn’t sign up for crying, Tony, goddamn,’’ Peter laughed, sniffling as he took his hands away from Tony’s and used his napkin to dry his eyes, sniffling once more; how did he get so lucky? ‘’I love you.’’

‘’I love you too. Now, order your fuckin’ food, you little shit.’’

After trying to smile his way through a three-course meal with Tony, avoiding any suspicion as to why he ate so little by sneakily ordering things he knew he didn’t like and passing it off as wanting to try something new, find new tastes in world, or whatever bullshit he said; they took a stroll since they couldn’t actually walk home, hand in hand, with Happy trailing behind, sharing laughs and small kisses before climbing into a car and starting up an intense but, soft make-out session, which led to clothes being pulled off the second they got close enough to their bedroom door. It quickly turned into Peter laying fully naked on Tony’s stupidly expensive sheets, after a small awkward debate of lowering the lights; not wanting Tony to see the drastic weight loss. Tony pressed kisses over every inch of his body, taking his time with soft words of praises and gentle caresses over his things and stomach. Safe to say, Peter Parker’s first time, ever, with the first man he’s ever loved, was a complete and utter success. 

The next few weeks were spent blissfully. Peter and Tony had officially become a couple, he was treated to cuddles on a love seat during movie times, and home-cooked dinner dates that he actually managed to eat but, that would always lead to the same guilt when he was bent over a toilet seat not even half an hour later to empty his stomach. They worked out together, and Tony even helped him get back on track with studying and school, making sure he did some work some point during the day, even if it were just for an hour. Coffee in the morning and soft kisses before bed, tinkering in the lab which was mostly just Tony feeling Peter up any chance he got to which would earn a squeal and a small telling off. They had it so good.

Well, all good things have to go to shit, don’t they?

Peter could barely remember the whole day. What he did remember was being woken up early by Tony’s hands running over his body, kissing and nipping at his shoulders to wake him gently, telling him that he needed to wake up as it was group training. Peter had always been able to come up with an excuse to get himself out of it but, before he could even try Tony was already telling him that he needed to stop hiding himself away, stop worrying about what people might think, and that he’s gonna be there to hold his hand. That’s when Peter realized that Tony thought that Peter was making those excuses because he was insecure, or anxious about them; maybe that Peter was worried that he wouldn’t be able to keep up, or his fighting style might get judged. He agreed, not being able to resist the puppy eyes that Tony seemed to have nailed down, and got out of bed. He then remembers just getting started into warm-ups, light sparing and running a couple of laps, and just when he was about to run another, the whole room began to spin. He couldn’t catch his breath, and before he could figure out what was going on… His world turned black. 

Peter woke with a sharp headache and an overwhelming groggy feeling. He cracked his eyes open slowly, giving them time to adjust to the light overhead, and slowly looked around the room; finding it to be a hospital bay, probably one in the medical wing of the compound. When he looked to his right, he found Tony looking at him, tiredness washed over his face and a concerned look in his eyes. 

''What happened?'' Peter asked, voice low and quiet.

''You passed out during training,’’ Tony sighed. ''Guess it was my turn to sit in a chair.'' Tony shrugged his shoulders, and Peter tried to smile at the joke but, the serious look on Tony’s face caused him to not; it would be best to not provoke anything. ''Did you know you're severely underweight?''

''No...'' Peter lied, looking away from Tony for a moment. ''I eat fine. I work out. I shouldn't be.''

''You're slightly malnourished too,’’ Tony added, and Peter just looked at him as if he had no clue what he was referring to, earning an irritated tut. ‘’It's my own fault. I didn't see the signs… Fuck, I didn't know you were struggling.''

''I'm not,'' Peter insisted, looking away from Tony when he gave Peter what he took as pity. ''I'm fine, Tony, I swear.''

‘’I need you to stop lying to me and tell me what’s going on. You don’t want me to touch you anymore, you hate me seeing you naked it. You spend all your time locked away in your room, or down in the gym, and then if anyone tries to come in and spend time with you… You just end up making more excuses to leave. You’ve never passed out a day in your life. Never. You don’t just get malnourished, Peter. Are you starving-’’

‘’Tony, I beg you, just stop. Everything is fine. I’m okay-’’

‘’Stop it!’’ Tony exclaimed, standing up so quickly that the chair flew backward from underneath him. ‘’You have me fucking terrified. You don’t understand what you’re doing to me. I don’t want you to die, Peter! I lost you once, I held you as you faded away. _Do not make me do that again_!’’

The room fell silent. Tony looked away, as he ran a hand down his face and Peter couldn’t stop the tears streaking down his cheeks. He never meant to hurt anyone with this, no one was supposed to worry; especially Tony. Peter tried to talk, tried to explain but, every time he opened his mouth no words would form, nothing would come out. Tony kept his gaze out of the window, radiating how much he was hurting; how much it hurt to even look at Peter. Even with the guilt settling a sick feeling in Peter’s stomach, he was still struggling to think up of how to begin explaining this to the man he had become to love so much that his heart ached.

‘’I didn’t intend to end up like this,’’ Peter began to explain, voice quiet and shaky. He kept his eyes cast down at his hands, unable to lookup anymore; not wanting to see Tony’s reaction. ‘’I just wanted… Something to help ground me. I was dealing with nightmares, and looking after you, and I felt like everything was changing and it was out of my control. I just needed something that I could keep in check. I had gained a little weight since I spent a month just sitting around. I just wanted to control that weight loss. It helped in the beginning, but the more I lost… The bigger I felt. It spiraled.’’ 

‘’I’m gonna get you help, Pete,’’ Tony promised, eyes soft and a hand reaching to grab Peter’s. ‘’We can get you better-’’

‘’No, no, no. Tony, I don’t need help. I can figure this out on my own. It’s okay. I don’t need-’’

‘’Baby, I know you’re scared. I know but, you need help with this. You can’t do this on your own. I’m not just gonna take you somewhere and leave you. I’ll be by your side. I’ll be there every single day. I’ll help you in every way possible.’’ 

Peter couldn’t stop the tears, ‘’You promise?’’

‘’Of course, I do.’’

Peter cried harder as Tony leaned down to hug him in the hospital bed, both of them clinging to each other, and for once, Peter’s tears weren’t linked to sadness, guilt, anxiety, or sorrow. 

They were tears of relief. 

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me over on tumblr @ thaliastxrk  
> if you want your own commission piece! send me a DM and i'll be happy to talk everything out with you!


End file.
